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“Ambition” is a Dirty Word — Why?
Ambition is supposed to be a good thing, but society doesn’t always see it that way.
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Growing up, most of us are told that we can do anything that we put our minds to. I know I was.
Whether it was my parents, my teachers, or camp counselors, they made sure to drive that point home year after year. After all, there’s nothing more joyful than seeing a child with bright eyes full hope and inspiration.
And you know what? To this day I still believe it — and I’ll never stop believing it.
When the Tides Change
But as I grew older and became an adult I noticed a concerning pattern.
That seed of ambition that was planted within in my spirit as a child was now looked down on by most.
It didn’t matter what idea had — whether I had the desire to pursue a new hobby, start a new business, purchase a home, seek higher education, or even take up a new sport — rest assured, someone was condemning me for it.
And the worst part? It was usually the people closest to me that had the most hurtful things to say about it.
Betrayal at It’s Finest
You may have experienced this for yourself at some point in time or another.
Just as in your youth, it could be your parents, other relatives, or even your best friends — this time with only nasty things to say. Whoever it ends up being, they make sure to tell you in no uncertain terms that you’re not good enough and you can’t do it (whatever “it” may be).
My favorite way I’ve heard this expressed is, “I just don’t want you to be disappointed if you can’t do it.” They say this as if they need to justify their cruelty — because they know it’s wrong.
So What Gives?
The thing is, I don’t think they are really concerned about you, me, or our feelings. I think they are only concerned with their own feelings.
The same goes for all the naysayers or “haters” that want to add in their two cents on the internet.
In reality, I think it’s as simple as jealousy — conscious or subconscious.
Most people that I’ve met went to school, then got a job, and work a 9–5. After they clock out, they go home to their apartment and go to sleep. Then they wake up and do it all over again the next day. Rinse and repeat until retirement.
Here’s my theory though: when these people are confronted with the possibility that someone might attempt to do something out of the ordinary, it really bothers them. It bothers them so much that they will do everything in their power to stop it from happening, and the best tools in their arsenal are words that hurt.
So What Do You Do?
From experience, I can tell you that all this negativity can be a shock to the system. Sadly, because of this many people do eventually give up on their ambitions. I know because I have too.
Though, I’ve been through this rodeo enough times to realize that the problem isn’t actually with me.
My dreams aren’t bad and ambition isn’t actually a dirty word to be frowned upon.
The problem is with them, and them alone.
Now in my third decade on this wonderful thing we call Earth, I don’t give up on my dreams. Instead, I’ve intentionally distanced myself from these naysayers.
I might be considered estranged from some of my family and I’ve even lost “friends” because of this, but I refuse to let anyone control me. Besides — real friends don’t try to control each other anyway.
Now, I look to the future and focus on surrounding myself with positive, supportive, and like-minded people. It feels a little bit like starting your life over from scratch, but it’s been one of the most healthy life decisions I’ve made.
I can now be my authentic self, without worry or ridicule.
Just Remember
In a perfect world ambition would be celebrated. Unfortunately, our world isn’t perfect and a very large portion of society looks down on it.
After all, if they “can’t have it” then no one should — at least that’s their reasoning. Of course, that’s just nonsense.
In reality, the only thing we need to do is to be true to ourselves and stay ambitious.
Oh Hey, It’s Ray is a real estate investor, entrepreneur, and former real estate agent. She lives happily with her husband and two children in the Pacific Northwest. See more from Ray at her YouTube channel and on Ohheyitsray.com